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Tawana

I ask my so called bf frequently if he is a player. He says no every time and I tell him I do not believe him and he says nothing. I do not believe him because he's let me down alot but he does try to make it up. He calls me like I am the only one and when I do not want to answer he gets mad. When I call him he is mostly busy and always has to call me back. I call him back and he answers within 3 rings and I hear hiim in the background at one of his sister's house or working on someone's car. He works a minimum wage job and hustles on the side. When he decides to call me he blows up my phone until I answer. When I don't answer he gets mad and asks why I did not answer my phone. He stays 15 to 20 min from me but I rarely see him. When I do see him it's always at night because he says he does not have time to just sit when he could be making money He talks to me about things going on in his life, he risk it by calling me from his work phone, and he texts me when he gets off from work. Could he be telling the truth or he's a player?

Brandy

I'm not quite sure how to take what he says. My husband and I have been having problems for the last few months, mostly small stuff like a few money issues, my own insecurities, and lack of communication. He is currently deployed. Over the past month or so it has been especially difficult. We have small spats like any normal couple, but when we do he doesn't talk to me for days at a time.

I spoke with him today and asked him if he was willing to wait until he got home to try to work things out (he has about a month and a half left). He said that he wasn't going to promise anything because he didn't want to get my hopes up. He said that right now he doesn't know what he wants but that he still loves me.

So from a guy's point of view, does this sound like there is still a good chance that he will want things to work when he comes home?

Emily

I'm sure you've heard this story a hundred times, but here it goes again...
My boyfriend is still "friends" with his ex fiancé. When we first started dating, it was just annoying but now it really bothers me. I'm starting to piece together the signs that he's not over her and could use some advice...
We've been dating for 10 months now and everything else is going great. He told me his last relationship ended a year and a half ago, the split was clean, they are completely over each other, and still remain friends. (Though, I recently found some old emails he sent a couple of months before we got together, declaring his undying love for her and begging her to come back.) Luckily, she lives in another state, so I don't have to worry about him "hanging out" with her.They talk about a few times a month (that I know of). The one time he mentioned to her that he was seeing someone, she told him I would leave him and go back to my ex. He said nothing in my defense, and new girlfriend was never brought up to old girlfriend again. (this was about 9 months ago). I told him how his "friendship" made me feel and asked if he could cut the communication for a while until we built up our relationship. He begrudgedly agreed and the conversations stopped. In an unrelated argument, he bursted out that he hates that I won't let him talk to who he wants. (those exact words) I gave up and told him to do whatever makes him happy. A few days later, he called her. The reasons he tells me why he still talks to her continually change: He tells me she annoys him, but he doesn't want to be rude... feels guilty for being a "crappy boyfriend"... they've been through a lot together in the past and doesn't want to lose her friendship... he's not doing anything wrong because they're not trying to get back together… he feels she's the only one he can talk to about his best friend who passed away. He deletes emails he sends and receives from her, keeps pictures of her, and she has access to his bank account for “past debts” he owes her.
Ok, the longer I make this list, the more obvious it is to me how he really feels about her. The question is should I stay or should I go? I know he loves me and he really does treat me good, but I’m already a jealous person as it is and am pretty sure this is going to drive me certifiably insane. Is this an obvious “cut your losses” case, or should I be patient and allow him time to get over her? Is that possible if he’s still keeping in touch with her?
Please help!!!

barbara

i just got out a 16 month relationship with someone i can honestly say i loved but during the course of our relationship he was always online chatting and flirting with women ultimately this caused the demise of our relationship

but the break up was rough. we did the facebook status thing(talking about each other in the third person type of thing)but then i saw that he after only a week of breaking up he added this woman that he was(is) madly in love with who has hurt him on more than one occasion. i was ghurt and doubted myself for a while but then the icing on the cake was on his other profile he wrote im only thinking of her i hope shes thinking of me.i was enraged!!! so he writes me on fb like um did you call me?
i said no i dont care what happens to you nor do i want to know i dont love you anymore and i never will(we werent on speaking terms when he emailed me)

i wanted him to hurt as bad as i felt when he said that about her. did that do the trick? im not hell bent on revenge but it felt like a knife went through my heart. 16 months and you say i love yous and at the first week of no talking you add her and still pine for her!!?? what should i do?

Katie

What are things that guys look for in a girlfriend?

Jaydedgirl

So theres this guy who attends the same gym as me. From last year i noticed this guy would stare at me,at first i ignored it coz i thought everybody looks at everybody lol. But time would pass and i would notice him looking at me all the time,while hes over at the weights area i would see him looking at me from across and he will make it known that hes looking at me. I would look back at him but thats it. Recently he started smiling at me whenever our gaze met and i would eventually smile back. I noticed a change in me..i am attracted to him and i get butterflies every time i see him coz i know he will be looking at me. He makes me feel as if im the only girl in the gym,there are many hot girls who come to gym and he just seems to ignore them and has his eyes locked on me. The other day before he left the gym he looked at me,smiled and waved at me,hes never waved to me before and that got me excited and all i cud do was smile,i got too shy to even wave back. This guy has never approached me or spoken to me..and im way too shy to go up to him. Im thinking of him alot lately but i don't know whether im looking into this too much ..he might be just being friendly and polite or he could like me..well i dont know. He doesn't smile or wave to other girls at the gym neither does he speak to them so i really dont know what to think of this,what do u think?

Nicole

I have had a crush on my best guy friend for over a year. About a month ago we started exchanging flirty text messages and admitted our mutual feelings for one another. We hooked up several times for about two weeks but chose to stop because he had recently broke up with our mutual best friend. I know he still likes me but will not admit it or pursue it and I'm broken hearted. We see and talk to one another every day and part of me hates him for leading me on and is finding it hard to continue to be friends with him and another part of me is still extremely attracted to him and is holding out for him to admit his feelings and show interest again. Help. I'm so sad and torn every day and what's worse is that I've essentially lost my other best friend so I always end up pestering him with my feelings.

Karen

So I was in a long term relationship with a guy for almost a decade and he broke up with me because he was going through some hard times with family issues and things got distant between us and he said he didnt think it was fair to try and keep up a relationship while he was dealing with everything so I let him have some time because I thought thats what he needed. Eventhough we were just technically friends I was still trying to be there for him for support but he pushed me away time and time again. Eventually I couldnt take the treatment anymore so I stopped contacting him. Several months after our breakup he contacts me out of the blue to tell me he has found someone new. It was so hard, my world came to an end and I went through a depression period. I did alot of thinking and self evaluating and started to go out and have fun and meet new people and had a great time. Things were getting better for me and before I knew it about 3 mnths went by. I wished him a Happy Thanksgiving and thats where it all started...he told me he thought that he didnt do the right thing and that this new gf might not be right for him. Well weve been talking on and off and he finally told me that he really missed me, that he missed all the small things about me and on and on. He asked why we let it all go, and said that we took so much for granted and if he could do it all over again he would have done everything better and regrets how it ended. He even asked me if I would take him back if things didnt work out with him and this girl and I said it depended upon the timing but I wasnt going to sit around and wait for him to carry on a relationship with her and see how it works. I told him he has to make a decision and he said he doesnt really know what to do or what he plans on doing. He says there is just something missing from the relationship with this new girl but he needs time to think and figure things out. He also just finished school and just started a new job and says his life is overwhelming right now and needs to get settled in before he can start hashing things out with his feelings for me vs. her. I told him I will not allow him to play games with me, he needs to be honest and upfront with me about things and he promises he means everything he says and that he isnt playing games hes just confused. How do I handle this? Do I give him the time and space he needs while I just continue doing my own thing as I was before? Do you think he is just trying to play me? There has been nothing between us, we havent seen eachother since we broke up and there isnt anything physical, just talking. He confides things in me that he doesnt anyone else. I just dont know if Im being used or if he is seriously going through a phase in his life where he is growing up and its scarring him. He says things are happening so fast and he always says hes growing up so fast. Opinions, advice? I would really appreciate a males point of view on this, my gfs say one thing and he says another. Hes a very good guy and he has always been an honest person, I believe hes just going through a rough patch and needs time to soak everything in. He is my best friend and cant imagine life without him...Thank you for your time!

Brittany

My boyfriend has been hanging out with this guy for about 2 months and I can't stand the guy! He is very rude and doesn't have a filter on his mouth. He is a really big talker and doesn't know how to act in front of a lady. I fill like it is coming between me and my bf whom I've been dating for a year and a half. I just don't want my bf to get any bad habits from this guy. He is a very heavy drinker and doesn't have the same goals for his future that we have for ours. He doesn't have a girlfriend and tries to talk to girls over face book... Like a creeper!!! What should I do to break them up?! Please help!!!!!

Kirsten

will any and every guy get a boner from a nasty ugly girl moaning and then her having sex with someone?

Emily

Okay, I'll try get straight to the point here. I've been hopeless in relationships, since I can ever remember. I either get too bored, too attached and pull away or something just switches off in my head and puts me off the other person completely. I have never been able to understand it.

well, about 3 years ago I lived in Canada, I had a boyfriend for a year and a half while I was there, during this time I met a guy named Devon, he was mysterious in such a sexy way and gorgeous, not the type of guy I usually went for but he made my knees weak every time I saw him. He never really had a girlfriend, I assumed it was because he was a player or something but no matter how hard I tried to keep myself away from him, he was like a drug and sucked me back in. Every time I saw him it didn't matter that I had a boyfriend, he was all I saw. I didn't know much about him but I knew he was great fun. we spent hours and hours on the phone each night talking about everything, it was like an addiction. we hung out and barely said a word to each other, but it was still amazing. Especially because everything was a secret. Finally, I had decided he was the one I wanted to be with, I had to be with him. My plan failed miserably as he was moving back in with his parents in another city, but not long after that I found out I was moving back to Australia. While all this is going on I am still with my boyfriend, he has no idea how I feel about Devon. Devon came back about 2 weeks before I was leaving Canada, just for two days and we had sex and I got the chance to say a proper goodbye, I don't regret it one bit. I would have regret it if I didn't do it, thinking back now. It's been almost 4 years since I've been back in Australia, I've had 3 different boyfriends in that time. Throughout these whole 4 years, Devon and I have never stopped talking. I'll get drunk and send him a message, or he'll do the same. Plus we just talk in general.

This is my problem...
I have been with my boyfriend for 16 months, he treats me so great, would do anything for me, he's really good looking, really sweet. I love him, we have had so many other things going on throughout our relationship and he moved pretty fast when we first started going out, I thought it was a good thing we was so in love with me, especially when he wasn't much of a boyfriend type when I met him, he was more of a bad boy. We had so much fun together at first, going out clubbing, hanging out with friends ect. He has completely changed now, he doesn't want to go out any more, he wants to stay in and watch movies, but then falls asleep the minute we start watching one, he gets angry at such small things, then takes it out on me, but is very apologetic the minute he realises he was being a jerk. This has been going on for about 6 months now, I try suggesting things we can do without spending too much money but just being out of the house, this doesn't work, it always comes down to going home and watching movies, which leaves me watching them by myself whilst he sleeps. This is my last year of being a teenager, I want to make the most of it, you know? I want to save and go travelling, I want to club crawl on weekends, I want to just have fun in general. He is such a special guy though, I love him with all my heart. I can't say that enough.


These past few weeks, one person has been on my mind, it's been making me feel sick to my stomach thinking about it, I can barely eat, sleep or even function, Devon is back and the addiction is setting back in. I feel like dropping everything and just running away to Canada...

My mind literally feels like it's about to explode..i don't know what to do..I want to just be inlove with my boyfriend and forget about everything else, he deserves that. I just can't control the other feelings for Devon, they keep getting stronger..


Any ideas?

Kate

I have been with my man for nearly 3 years now. so anyway his ex is a close friend of his sisters so shes always there for family events that we are invited to,so anyway long story short before we went to a family bbq (she was there) he said to me:dont kiss me infront of her i dont want to make her jealous so i agreed,but when we were there he kept getting close to her and looked like was trying to smell her perfume,and i also noticed him looking down her top a few times. And he would only talk to her if i wasnt around at that point,he wouldnt talk to her infront of me:
so my question is was he trying to make me jealous or is he not over her?
Please help! Thankyou

Aurielle

Ok,so here's the layout of the my problem. Basically, I had begun to find interest in this guy at my job. And he is a year younger than I am (which age doesn't really matter in my opinion). However, these past 2 or 3 days he's given me eye contact but hasn't really said anything to me. I mean we've been talking for the past 3 or 4 weeks now. I really enjoy our conversations and hanging out with him. We've shared a few intimate moments together whether at his place or through text messaging. I mean he even asked me where do I see us going from where we are and I replied by stating "I could potentially see myself dating you for a while." Was my response wrong? Am I overreacting or being too clingy? Personally I'm not a clingy girl but I've found myself thinking about him and I really think I'm falling for this guy but he's pushing away! I haven't really texted him as much and whenever we are around each we still talk but it seems a little weird! I'm a little confused because a while back I told him why was he being so distant it seemed like and he blamed it on being tired and work. I apologized for appearing to be so emotional I just thought it had something to do with me. He stated that why would I assume this and I told him I don't know. He wasn't really coming around as much and I just assumed it had something to do with me.However, he manages to hang out with his friends. Nonetheless, the situation is confusing me and making me a little frustrated. I've met his family and a few friends and they all seem really nice. A few co workers know that we've hung out together and assume we are together.I also understand that its important to keep things at work professional and not let your personal lives interfere with that! So I guess my question would be should I just totally back off and move on? Or should I just continue to give him space and see how everything unfolds? Or could it be that I am reading into this way too much? I really like this guy and would love to continue getting to know him. I'm not asking for commitment right now I'm just wondering what's going on. I also wouldn't want to lose him as a friend but I just don't understand why he's acting so strange especially towards me.

Carrie

Me and my (Ex) husband filed for divorce 2 months ago. I was married for 8 years (8 years of hell). A friend of mine was having a get together at her house and thought it would be good for me to meet new people, show me not all men are a**holes. I told her i wasnt looking to get into anything with anybody, i wanted to focus on me for a while, but I made small talk and met a few new people and had a good time. There was one guy that kinda stuck out of the crowd. Someone that would be really nice to hangout with. (friend wise) That was 2 months ago. (Since then i have developed feelings for him, but they are kinda guarded. If i let my guard down i could 100% fall in love with him.) We both are attracted to each other. He got out of a really ugly relationship about a year ago. We basically just have been there for each other. Since the day we meet we have talked everyday. See each other everytime we have spare time when we not doing our own thing. We had a talk about where we stand with each other and all he really said is that i am gorgeous, he really has enjoyed getting to know me, but that he feels uncomfortable with my divorce not being final yet. He doesnt think i should be getting into another relationship yet. I understand all that.. I respect that. My main question is he says we are friends; however when we are together he treats me so much more. We have slept together. (Just once)i was kinda hestitant only bc i didnt want it to ruin what we had, which it didnt to my knowledge. He opens doors for me, i spend the night or even whole weekends with him if our schedule allows it. We actaully went out of town together with another cple and the people we stayed with thought we were married. But here lately he has kinda been acting strange. Now he says he feels uncomfortable with me staying the night because of his roommate.. (That has never stopped him before) When i asked why now he said its not because he doesnt want me to he just doesnt want his roommate viewing me like that. He has calmed the phone calls down, everyday is different basically. One day he acts one way and the next day its a 180. Im confused.. Is it just me? Is he loosing interest? My divorce will be final in 2 weeks and he knows that. Should i back off from him for awhile? I dont want to be that girl that is only there when he doesnt have anybody else.

Angie

I like this guy alot and he's admitted that he likes me. He refuses to go out with me cuz he's still not over his ex. he refuses to get over her and I feel like a could be so much of a better girlfriend to him. what do i do?

Brianna

Okay so its been this boy that I been talking to for 10months now. And we've talked every single day on the phone we had are first kiss after 7 months of knowing each other. He told me he loved me in like 7 months he's a really nice Guy and I love him with all my heart. But b4 me he had this 4 year relationship. And this mess up everything for us because I believe that he still not over her And it seem like she really meant something to him. She was his first she took his virginity and everything. I just don't knw what to do cause its like why aren't we together. And we been talking for so long.? Should I move on or keep talking to him?

solange martins

I have an ex boyfriend who I have known since I was a kid we dated twice nothing major it's been almost seven years that I see him we trade numbers that first day he asked to hangout but I didn't.did the day after,from there we were together almost everyday and texting back and fourth.he treated me like his girlfriend holding my hand in front of his friends took me out,but he said he wanted to stay single as well as I did until all of these things having sex almost everytime we saw each other.then almost a month I think I was started to become clingy by texting him all the time even when he was working because before he didn't really mind,a week ago he just said I feel like I'm in a relationship texting everyday not to be mean is what he said he didn't text for about a week I texted him then we spoke but.I slept over his house often before this so I asked for my things he dropped it off I asked to talk to him he asked about what I told him me liking you a lil.he said we talked about this I don't want a relationship.he hasn't texted me at all.I feel like I did a huge mistake.what should I do?

solange martins

I told you about the situation about my ex I don't know if he likes me or it's just.me

Elmo

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about a month now.  I am 20 and he is 27.  We have a lot in common and have become extremely close rapidly, we knew each other for 11 months before dating.  From the beginning, my boyfriend had been honest with me about his past relationship.  He was married to a girl he has known for 18 years, they were best friends before was in an 8 year relationship with her, and married her for 4.  They divorced 3 years ago.  She is 26.  She filed for divorce from him because he was immature, drinking a lot, and spending a lot of money after he lost his job.  They were both irresponsible with money and ran up a $15,000 tab on a joint credit card which they still owe about $6,000 for.  Upon divorce, the bill was split.  As far as I knew, his relationship with her consisted of him paying her once per month for the remainder of the balance (obviously he would attain receipts, etc.)  After they broke up, he was hurt by the situation and she moved on and dated someone else.  He didn't really complain, as far as I know, but I know he wasn't over her.  Regardless, she and her boyfriend broke up.  He later admitted to me that after her break up, they had physical relations a few times, the soonest being about a month before we began dating.  When she found out that he and I were seeing each other, his first relationship post-divorce, she sent him a message asking him about me and whether I call him specific nicknames.  He told me that she said to do what he wanted.  This was message number one.  However, it seems like her frequency in random messages has increased.  His grandmother passed away, and she sent him a message to pay her respects, number two, also asking when his mother would return from Mexico so she can send her something in the mail like flowers.  This was totally understandable.  Message three consisted of telling him to listen to the song "Marvin's Room" remixed by JoJo that has an obvious message to through a blow at someone's "new chick" and insinuates that she is better than the said "new chick."  I found this really out of line.  Now, the first two emails he admittedly told me about.  The subsequent song "dedication" one he did not tell me about.  He wanted to listen to it and told me a coworker had played it at work and he wanted to hear it again.  I discovered the real reason for playing it while snooping in his emails (he deletes all emails, I found the response in the sent file) and yes, I am very aware that that is an invasion of privacy and I have promised to not do it again.  Now, I told him that this bothered me a lot and apologized for snooping.  He explained to me that he did not want to make a mountain out of a molehill and thus he did not ask her why she wanted to send him that song, etc.  I chose to attempt to ignore it.  Now, she began messaging him two days ago, which he said was to ask whether his mother is back home yet.  This conversation was pretty lengthy for just one purpose.  This upset me.  Later on, after deleting all the messages, she texted "text me later sucka" which could be construed as common courtesy or a real request.  I expressed again that I did not see the reason why they had to speak so much, that the reason he gave me could not explain a lengthy conversation.  As I said before, the relationship between them, as far as I was concerned, was solely based on paying her.  Now, we had a bit of an argument because of it.  He explained to me that he's just not a mean person and doesn't really want to make a big deal.  I feel like he's being a push over.  He told me he told her that he was with me at the time.  I asked him what kind of impression that was supposed to make, you're with your new girlfriend but you're texting your ex?  He explained to me that he and her had gone through a lot in life together, and that she knew things about him that he wouldn't even ever tell me (my response was, "wow, that makes me feel even more confident.")  He told me that she is like his best friend.  I told him that although they have gone through a lot and she likely knows him a lot better than I do, they do not have children, and I don't see why anything prior to their marriage/divorce is relevant to his current situation.  I don't care about the friendship they had before they got together in the first place.  That isn't a justification to maintain excessive contact because they jeopardized that friendship when they chose to take it to the next level.  Now, this is my problem, I can tell my boyfriend is not 100% over his ex.  He has a lot of old pictures and notes, not out in the open, but in his phone and in photo albums, etc.  He feels responsible for the failure of his marriage to her, and he probably is the more accountable one, I understand that, but he has no reason to use his guilt for things not working out as almost an obligation to be there for her.  I asked him specifically, "if your ex called you today and said drop everything and come move back with me, would you do it?"  He told me no.  He told me that because he said he doesn't think she would be saying it out of genuine feelings, and solely based on the current situation with he and I she may just be trying to ruin us.  He said he didn't know how she would be in a hypothetical "month" from now in that said situation.  Yesterday, I snooped again, and discovered two sent emails.  One from two days ago, the day she said text me later, at 9:30PM saying "goodnight homie," and a second, sent at 4:30PM after I had picked him up from work, which was the ultimate smack... The subject was "do not reply she's here" and the content was the name and artist of a Spanish song that consists of "if I don't hold you in 24 hours I am a dead man, my world will end, I'm sorry for calling you and I know this wasn't what we agreed on, but I'm still here waiting and you told me we would be together again someday.  Tell me you love me."  (24 horas - Espinoza Paz) Now, I specifically promised I would not snoop again but I had a bad feeling, so I can't admit to seeing it.  I was extremely hurt.  I don't know if she asked him for the name of the song or whether he sent it out of his own will.  I told him yesterday after speaking to my best friend that if he did not tell her to back off, and on the off chance that I would manage to see her saying anything about me again NOT via snooping, I will tell her to back off myself.  I don't appreciate this whatsoever.  I'm very hurt and confused.  I don't want to get hurt again, and this man has done nothing but make me happy other than in this situation.  In fact, other than this situation, and before it really escalated, I have never been more happy with a new guy, it's like everything I deserved in another person, and that's a pretty deep thing to say but I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean it...  Any minimal argument has never been because of anything between he and I, only because of her.  I think she is trying to lodge a wedge between us to cause an end to our relationship.  What am I supposed to do now?  I don't want to be second-best.  I don't want to compete with her or be compared to her.  I don't want her to keep trying to lodge herself in his head on a regular basis.  I don't genuinely believe her motivation is solely based on friendship with him, I believe that she wants him to be her back up plan.  How am I supposed to let him know that this is unhealthy to our relationship and unfair?

Shona

So I have been seeing this guy for 4 months.When we started we said that we were just going to be "friends" and have a little fun but we seemed to get real close. We spent alot of time together, doing all the things 2 people do in a relationship, going for meals, cinema, nights in with a DVD etc... Anyway, after a while he admitted that he only saw me as a friend and that he was still in love with his ex. His previous relationship lasted 7 years on and off and he's told me that all his relationships since have ended because of his ex and he doesn't want to hurt me. Although I probably should appreciate him not wanting to hurt me, we did fall out for a couple of weeks until he got in touch again and we are now just friends again. My problem is that although we are just friends, he can't keep his hands off me, even just sitting watching a DVD he will have to at least have even just his toe touching me. We still spend as much time together as before, we confide in each other, he's met my family ( his idea not mine, although I've not met any of his and they know nothing about me) and other people assume we are in a relationship, they say we seem to bounce off each other. The other day, we were texting and he told me that he had decided that he definitely still loves his ex and is determined to win her back. This hurts me like hell, I can't understand how he can behave the way he does with me but still say there is no "Spark" between us. I feel a spark so why doesn't he? Am I wasting my time? I care about him and know he cares about me but am I just keeping him warm at night until his ex or someone else with "Spark" comes along.

Anonnymouse

My ex and I were together for a year and a half. We broke up in May. He immediately got with another girl.
We have stayed in contact with each other. As a matter of fact we talk at least for a few min everyday. After I went balls out crazy just after the break up I quit making contact. It always made him upset and felt like I was pressuring him to get back together.
We have been intimate 3 times physically and 5 times over the phone. When we are around each other he is usually pretty physical. Touching, poking, play punching, wanting high fives, rubbing my arm, long intimate hugs.
He hasn't left the rebound yet and resists my attempts for me to distance myself. But if I bring up us getting back together he gets upset and tells me that there is a chance but not while I am badgering him..And if I call him out on his behavior or talk about the intimate encounters we have had he says that maybe we should just quit talking to each other altogether...But then he doesn't stick to that either.

Their relationship has been rocky from the start and really, it's probably because it's a double rebound..She is coming out of a marriage where her husband left cheated on her then left her for another woman. He is coming out of our r/s, of course.

I want to get back with him. But he says he needs to get to know me as a person before he can consider that because of how unhappy our last couple months were together.

He keeps tabs on me with my facebook. He has told me to not wait for him that I shouldn't sell myself short because he doesn't know how long his r/s will last but every time it even remotely seems that I am going out with another guy he calls me and questions me about it. And then says he isn't jealous.

Vicki

hey I have been sleeping with this guy for a couple of weeks but we have know each other for about 3 or 4 years. After only a couple of weeks sleeping together I have grown feelings for him because wen I'm with him he just makes me feel like I'm the only girl that matters to him... Well anyway he has just gotten out of a 3 year relationship with a girl he has a son too. It only been a couple of months since they broke up. The relationship ended because he cheated on her a couple of times with this one girl ( I no once a cheater always a cheater). He is still in love with his ex.. How long should I wait to make a move or should I give up & walk away!? Please help!!!

Annabel

Sooooo...
I'm seriously talking to a guy. We'll call him JD. We spend time together, we really understand eachother, I admire his personality and who he is as a person. But becuase of certain events going on in his life right now, he's been taking our climb to relationship status pretty slow. Too slow for me. In fact its kind of at a standstill right now because if whats going on. I feel as though, even though I like him, I shouldn't have to wait around for him, because I know that I want a relationship but it seems as though he can't fit a relationship into his life right now. He says it will happen soon, but I don't want to be hanging around waiting for soon to come.
Sooooo.....
Theres this other guy that i've been seeing around, that I would like to pursue. We'll call him Sam. We've established the "I think you're attractive eye contact", so now its on to the "lets introduce ourselves" phase.

Would it be wrong to pursue Sam while i'm seriously talking to JD? I want to be sympathetic to JD's situation and know that after its over, he'll be willing to really get this ball moving, but I feel like that's not a garauntee.
But if I do pursue Sam and we have a connection, I don't want JD to be upset.
AND if i'm talking to both of them, I don't want to have to choose.
AND I dont' want to choose Sam over JD and regret it because I didn't stick around long enough to see where it would go with JD. Or choose JD over Sam, then things end up bad with JD and Sam ends up with another chick, then I lose the oppurtunity to be with him.

But i'm ready to move on from JD, even before he was in this situation where we're halting our progrss to a relationship. when there was nothing inhibiting him, he made no effort, saying he was taking it slow. And i feel like this situation in his life came at the very moment when i'm ready to move on, so it would seem kind of dirty for me to just call it quits when all of a sudden its not his fault that he can't make an effort.

soooo.....
Should I stick around with JD through his life dilemmas, and see what effort he makes after its over?
Or should I call it quits, and move on to JD, or anyone else for that matter, to see if I can get the relationship that I want elsewhere?
Or should I continue to talk to JD, and pursue Sam at the same time?

Jennifer

Hello. Okay so to make a long story short...I met this guy Jake about 2 yrs ago through a mutual friend. At the time he had a g/f, so we were just acquaintences who would see each other when our friends got together.

Fast forward two years to October of this year... Ran into him again, told me he had broken up with his g/f, and was interested in pursuing something with me. I had recently just broken up with my b/f but I liked him so I went with it.

Okay, so we dated for about a month...he would text everyday all day, tell me how much he liked me, how he wanted to meet my family, go on trips, invited me to outing with his parents about 3 times (but I never actually met them)...etc. He even went so far as to say "I know you can't make a relationship w/ me official, but I am just waiting for you to be ready..."

So one day I bring up the relationship topic as a joke (after getting physical, no sex)... then I think about it again I ask him if he wants a relationship with me...he says yes, so I say "okay you can be my bf..." He freaks. Says he wants to take things slow. I am confused, but I say okay. Finally, after him bringing up that he is just "not ready for a serious relationship" wants things to progress but is uncomfortable with the "pace' and is just "enjoying the ride", I tell him that I would rather spare my feelings and be friends. He agrees.

So, we don't talk for a week, and then he suddenly comes back and says that he misses me and wishes that we were still hanging out. He says he's bummed that I just want to be friends, b/c he feels like he would "want more." So I said...what do you want? He says...to hang out with you again.

So I went out of town for about a week, he invites me to his house to hang out...I go over, we make out heavily and get really physical (no sex, clothes on). He invites me to dinner the next day and I tell him, I need to check my schedule. The next day I tell him I'm free...he then says he is about an hr out of town for work and will let me know. Around dinner time, he says he can't make it and I tell him okay...that's fine. Have a good night.

I haven't heard from him in a week. Called him the day after just to chat, and nothing. No response or call back.

I feel really hurt and confused about this whole situation. If he wasnt interested, why would he come back and tell me he wanted to be more than friends. Then dissapear AGAIN a day after hanging out? It just seems cruel to me.

I want to message him and see what he's up to...maybe tell him how I feel, and let him know that what he did really hurt me. But I don't know if I should.

To make matters even worse, I have an inkling he is back to dating this girl he had been dating before I came along. He told me he told her "he just wanted to be friends", but flirty fb posts say otherwise.

Guys what advice can you give me? I'm just really upset about it.

I understand, he is just "not that into me" or whatever. I feel like he changed his mind. But I feel like I need to say something, just to get it off my chest.

However, I dont want to look crazy. What do I do?

Helen

Hello :)

Ok so there's this guy who's really confusing me. We met 4 months ago at college, and we actually made out once at a party (he came on to me).
Anyways he's always teasing me, sending me text messages from time to time, looking at me in class (that's what my friends told me), giving me air kisses.
But when we talk he tells me things like "you're not cute enough for me" or "I like european girls" (I'm not european), even though he acknowledged that I'm one of the prettiest girls in our class.

Bottom line, I can't understand if he's interested in me or not. I kinda like him, so I hope you guys could help me with this !

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